Tomorrow I’m supposed to be telling you that we paid off the first of our four credit cards, like was planned. Turns out that is not going to happen.
Why?
Well, I forgot that we would need to pay for Christmas by Christmas (um, duh Sara.) and someone got into a parking ticket mess earlier this month. Moving right along…I’m hoping that we can get it paid by mid-February.
This is normally the kind of thing that would totally derail my budget attempts for a really long time. But I’m not letting that happen this time. Because- we’re much better when there is an actual budget to look at. (I can’t believe i just admitted that.) And having something to be accountable to really does curb our spending. Or, at least shame us when it doesn’t.
In related(ish) news, my mom called and said that Thanksgiving is going to be catered this year, as a gift from one of my aunts. So, silly as it may sound, that’s one event that I don’t have to worry about bringing anything more than flowers and a hostess gift to.
It made me nervous when I realized about the possibility of being expected to spend lots of money while visiting L’s family for the holidays. My family gets that it’s smart for us to live frugally. But again, L is the wealthiest person in his family, and this is our first time going back to his hometown since the new job. I am worrying about whether we are going to have to pick up all kinds of tabs, or be expected to treat his family to lots of new things.
But enough worrying for now. I need advise! Are any of you in a much better financial footing than your (or your partner’s) family? How does one deal with this? What about if your family is really really poor?
image credit to howstuffworks
My husband’s family growing up was much better off than any of his relatives – largely because they only had 1 kid vs. many in the other families. His parents chose to give rather expensive gifts, much pricer than what they received – that makes them happy.
We are also better off than some (not most) family members now, but I don’t really consider that when giving gifts. We just have a cap that we apply to everyone. I don’t think they have any expectations of us paying more than our own way.
If some family members were really hard up, I would probably just give flexible gift cards so they can choose what will give them the most utility. I know it frustrates me to receive baubles or gifts cards to bookstores when what I really need is grocery money.
All of his family is very hard up- that’s part of the problem. Also- and I’m learning that this is part of the culture where he’s from, L is seen as having “made it” out of where he grew up, and there is some expectation on both sides (his and theirs; I’m afraid more on theirs) that he owes it to them to give lavish gifts.
His parents are the easiest- we always just replace something in their house (the bathtub, the stove, and the fridge have all been past gifts), but his siblings and cousins I’m at a loss with.
Christmas always ruins everything. I probably won’t be able to pay mine off either. Don’t tell anyone!
I’m a finance blogger….
Haha. It’ll be our little secret
A catered Thanksgiving sounds nice! And I know exactly what you mean about maybe having to pay for tabs. We recently got into a fight with the boy’s brother and his wife last weekend. They told us that we “don’t deserve the things we have in life” and went on and on and on.
OUCH! Liam’s family is never rude about it- mostly everyone will make jokes about him paying his dues. I think either way (more money or less money) it’s really difficult to be at a different end of the spectrum from your family, and probably to a lesser extent your friends.